wardrobe meltdown.

lately i've been hating every article of clothing that i own. i put something on and later realize there is a small stain or hole. or i see a picture of myself and realize you can see my bra in that particular top. getting dressed in the morning or to go out has never been more difficult. i literally hate everything in my closet. everything seems old, worn or out of style.

the meltdown began when i retore my winter jacket. i can't have it repaired right now because i don't have another warm coat to wear while it's getting fixed. so i'm walking around with a torn seam. then i realized how out of style all of my work pants look and how crappy all my sweaters are. they all have nubs or holes and need to be pitched. this weekend i got to go shopping with my girlies and i tried on a bunch of things and some things worked out but mostly, not so much. i want straight leg dress pants for a more polished look. i tried some on at h&m and could not get them on over my knees because they were so tapered and tight. not really what i'm looking for. i wanted jeggings to spice up my going out clothes. also did not fit properly. luckily, i did make out with a couple new sweaters and a new shirt. later that day i pulled up my favorite jeans and accidentally tore off the label on the back. this furthered my clothing induced depression.

yesterday i stopped in at zara and they were having a sale but nothing fit right and i felt ridiculous. on the way out i stepped in a big puddle and discovered my "waterproof" boots are no longer that. i'm falling apart!

i went home and tore some things off my hangers to throw out. i'm going to do more of that tonight. i want to start from scratch. but i feel like i'm in a weird stage where i don't know what type of clothes i want to buy and i'm not quite willing to spend much to get the look i want. i want to look more polished in general but i don't even know how to achieve that.

i know this isn't a typical lucky girl post but i'm close to submitting a video to what not to wear and need to vent. i hope it's just the winter blues or that i find some good new items fast!

me time.

i am a very social person and i really love spending time with friends, family and my coworkers. however, every so often i really crave silence and some alone time. i usually have something to do everyday after work like volunteering, class, a work event or something with a friend or the bf. but every once and awhile i catch a break in my schedule and have nothing and just go to the gym and head home. yesterday was one of those days! i worked out and enjoyed watching grey's anatomy on the tv attached to my eliptical and then went to the grocery store. on my way there i realized the bf had practice and i would just be heading home to quiet time. after a few weeks of madness i was glad to have the down time. of course it was anything but downtime. i put away laundry, cleaned up, baked banana bread, did a ton of dishes, did homework and made dinner. despite all the housework and activity, it was quiet and i didn't talk to anyone but my foster cat, bj. it was nice. i also had enough time to sit and watch tv and lay on my heated bed buddy before bed. glorious.

i woke up feeling pretty refreshed and ready to tackle the day. unfortunately the day ended up tackling me and every little thing went wrong. such is life. and just after one day of being away from the bf, i'm ready to not have the me time and have we time. lame, i know but true!

jam-packed weekend

this weekend was seriously a whirlwind and i really wish i had another day to recouperate! on friday we continued the bf's bday celebration with taco night and a trip to the green mill for afro-cuban jazz featuring chuchito valdez. the tacos were a slight fail. i bought natural ground beef and it didn't turn out how i would have liked it but the bf was pleased and enjoyed them and that's all that matters! afterwards we went to the green mill and it was pretty crowded. luckily we ran into a friend of rob's who was leaving and gave us their seats. the music was really amazing. i've never heard or seen anything like it before.


on saturday afternoon i went to the south loop for dance class with my good friend. i was SO excited to get back to class. it's seriously been so long since i was last there and it just makes me so happy to go. the dance was a bit more advanced than usual and i'm totally rusty but it was still a great work out and really fun to do it with a friend. later on i went out to dinner with 3 of my fav girls to Meze for tapas. they have half-priced wine on saturdays!!! who does that??? after dinner we went to five star for a friend of a friend's party. it is definitely a unique place with burlesque dancers and mohawked bartenders. it was a very interesting way to end the night!



the next morning i had to get up early to help the bf move into his new apartment. his family came up and we worked out clearing the rest of his stuff out his third floor apartment and moved it into (luckily) his new first floor apartment. i'm so excited for him, the place is perfect for him and it looks great! i had to duck out early to work an event briefly and then i went to a depaul women's bball game with my parents. the girls kicked butt! i was a very proud blue demon.



this week is luckily fairly calm. i will be able to hit the gym pretty much every day and have a weekday date with my man tomorrow. i'm looking forward to it. we're FINALLY trying DMK Burger Bar. Jessica over at, http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/, inspired me to get to it!





p.s. here's a pic of billy jean, my current foster kitty. she's a playful attention hog and i think this pic sums it up nicely.

"stop every now and then. just stop and enjoy. take a deep breath. relax and take in the abundance of life."