happy, calm and ready.

after last week's complete panic attack and sob fest, i'm happy to report that i'm pleased as punch. i think having a good cry and venting to all my supportive friends and coworkers made me feel a million times better. the weekend was a blast and also helped me destress. on friday i went to the ballet with my good friend and her coworker. we got the groupon for eclectica awhile back. the seats were awesome! i was so surprised that we were so close to the stage for such cheap tickets! they show included 3 unique pieces and it had 2 intermissions which was great for us girls to talk in between each piece. the first piece was very pretty and romantic, the second totally funky and reminded me a lot of the choreography and outfits we'd wear for winterguard and the last piece was beautiful, but one of the girls fell! i've never seen that before! afterwards i went home to join the bf on the couch and we watched "an education." the next day i had a quick luncheon for my student volunteers. they are so adorable and funny. they were all asking what i was doing this weekend, curious about the big bachelorette party and wanted to see all my travel photos in my office. they keep me young, i swear. then i packed up all the alcohol and bachelorette party decor and was on my way. the co-maid of honor got to the hotel (hyatt mccormick place suite - crrrrazy view on the 31st floor!) and decorated our little hearts out. we had all sorts of typical bachelorette party goodies (i.e penis straws and kama sutra balloons) then we had some cute stuff too like caution tape and streamers, glittery buttons and stickers for everyone. we got pasta bowl delivered and had lots and lots of champagne and jello shots. we also had a masseuse and sex toy lady come. it was quite festive. then we went out for a bit and danced our hearts out. i had WAY too much champagne and woke up with the worst headache/hangover i think i've ever had. but man was it worth it. i had such a fantastic time getting wild and crazy! sunday i could not move or function until about noon. the bf took me to return the cat - she attacked me too many more times so she got the boot. i'm SO happy to have her gone. i felt like a big weight was taken off my shoulders and i could relax at home more. i didn't always have to be on the look out for the little devil. and it was nice to toss her literbox and take all the sheets off my furniture. then we drove out to naperville (took 2 hours rather than 45 minutes - thanks 290) and hung out with my mom, bro, dad, aunt and cousins. my cousins bdays are this week so we did a big joint bday/mother's day celebration. it was really nice and they have 2 maltese pups and i realized how much more of a dog person i am than cat. maybe ill start fostering them instead!

i'm feeling totally relaxed and happy and ready to take on all the challenges i have this week. im also thrilled that all i have to do tomorrow is go to the chiropractor and then go home and chill out. wednesday im taking a fitness class and volunteering with my seniors, thursday i might go to a pop can art show and friday i have a half day at work before going to the cubs game and a concert and saturday i have to work an event but it will be a fun one. i'm seriously so ready and looking forward to all of it! hope everyone else had a nice weekend!

going out of my head.

so last night i officially lost it. i've been feeling the pressure, exhaustion and stress for awhile and last night it all came together and i LOST IT. crying, yelling gibberish, hiding under my covers, etc.

truth is, i love to be busy. it feels good to be productive and i love filling my days with activities, time with friends, the bf, checking out things in the city and yes, even working. however, right now all those things are kicking my butt and there are just too many of them to keep my head above water. i have had to staff a lot of events lately - weeknights and almost every saturday since mid april. the last time i didnt have something i had to do after work was april 13 i think. GROSS!

so i made a list of things that i would like to do that would make me happy. (lists make me happy)
1. take fitness classes. i LOVE taking these challenging fitness classes. they make me feel very accomplished and you don't have to speak for the whole hour. glorious! ive been too busy lately to do them so ive been stuck on the eliptical or treadmill for a half assed work out.

2. paint pottery. i love painting pottery - specifically alone - because it's a nice quiet time activity and i get to be creative.

3. scrapbook. i have a TON of pictures and scrapbooking crap but no time to do it. it makes me very happy. i like that there is a finished product that i can enjoy over and over again.

4. go straight home from work one day. i NEVER do this. i always either have something i have to do or go to the gym. i work until 430 but i usually don't get home until 8 or after.

5. get a real massage. i go to the chiropractor almost every week and get a "body treatment" but it's not as glorious as a spa massage. i really need one and it's the ultimate relaxation for me!

6. do art. i just wrote about this. again, no time to really dive into anything right now.

7. sleep in. i haven't been able to sleep in much on the weekends like i really like to do because of work and other activities. i'm hoping i can this sunday!

8. eat junk food. i have been trying to be really good about eating and working out lately. for example, my lunch consists of chicken noodle soup, strawberries and carrots. what i really want is a hotdog and cheese fries.

9. spend the day with my man. i haven't been able to do this and it's needed!

10. have the energy to go out like a wild woman with my girlfriends! the past few weekends i've wanted to make them the best nights ever but i've just been too sleepy to stay out too terribly late!

i realize that i often don't allow myself to do the things i really want to do and get caught up in what i think i should do or need to do. hopefully things will die down and i can do the things that i've been missing out on. wish me luck!

latest foster kitty.

i got a new foster kitty about 2 weeks ago. i am trying out a new program through PAWS. i used to go all the way down to their intake center, take in a sickly cat that wasn't ready to go to the adoption center. it was real hard to get there and sickly ones can be kind of tricky. i found out that the nearby lincoln park adoption center also does fostering. they put cats that don't "show" well into foster care so that the foster parent can write a little bio about how great they are at home and add some adorable pictures to help encourage adoptions.

i went in to met honey bee. as soon as i walked into the room she ran to the top of the cat tree out of my reach. the head volunteer brought her down so i could meet her and she was skittish but sweet. he said that she always shys away from new people and doesnt like to play around other cats. i said sure, let's go for it. he tried to put her in a carrier and she went APE SHIT crazy. great sign! in the cab she was scratching the inside of the crate like a pyscho. awesome. then i get her home and she bolts for under the bed. for like 3 hours. she finally came out for a belly rub and appeared to be very sweet. she likes to drink out the faucet and our cups. she likes to scratch at my leather couch too. she really likes to be brushed and play with feathers and she sheds like no other. she was all sprite and delight until she attacked the crap out of me a couple of days into her fostering. she randomly jumped on my arm and bit me and clawed me while i was studying. it was INSANE and very scary! then it happened like 3 more times within 2 weeks. couldnt figure it out at all. bought lots of toys and treats and had planned play sessions and it still didn't help. she attacked the bf once last week but since then she's been fine. playful but not aggressive and fairly cuddly and needy. not really sure what changed but i'm relieved because i was terrified she was going to claw my face. she's pretty darn cute looking too.

art lover.

lately ive been missing art. i used to get to do artwork all the time for school-drawing, mixed media, printmaking, jewelry making. even after i graduated i took the time to do small art projects. now, i find it hard to find time for it and i lack the inspiration i once had. i'm starting to get the itch again so hopefully i will start to pick it up again but for now i've been enjoying other people's art. last weekend at the dance thing i went to the walls were covered in art. my good friend and old roomie had a few fantastic pieces! she inspired me to do more myself. then on tuesday last week i visited the MCA for their free day. i did not understand a thing. i loved it though. everything was incredibly abstract and modern and didn't make a lick of sense. some of it was super ugly, some of it was gorgeous and some of it was very funny. i was so happy to go because it had been awhile since my last visit. on friday the bf and i joined his friend and gf at our favorite theatre for the opening of "exit through the gift shop" a documentary about street art. i loved it. it was funny, interesting and filled with intriguing art. i highly recommend it. this saturday i made a pitstop at the cultural center and viewed some photographs, some pieces done by young adults with disabilities and my favorite - a paper jewelry exhibit. i get so happy when i go there. i love that it's always free and that its beautiful inside. it's one of my favorite chicago spots. later that day i got the chance to go to artropolis at merchandise mart. unfortunately my friends and i were dragging and super duper tired. artropolis is not the place to go when you're tired. there were 3 different floors and endless rows of art. we first stopped in the emerging artists floor. it was pretty cool and we saw some great pieces. then we went to the other floor with more established artists and it knocked or socks off. i fell in love with all that glittered. i love crafty kitschy art and there was a fair amount there. there were pieces completely made out of sequins - love it! my favorite were these pieces that used straws to create 3d shapes like lips and an eye. there was so much art there it was quite overwhelming but we got to see some very interesting and spectacular pieces and i'm so grateful we got to go.

hopefully i'll do something interesting on my own someday soon!